Emotional Tornadoes: Self-Created Upheaval

No, you’re not crazy. You may seem insane, or even feel like you’ve lost your mind. Your friends may think you’re nuts while you’re in the grip of one of these things, but you’re still legally responsible. And you’re not the victim of someone else’s impulses or malice, either.

What’s happening is you’re caught up in an emotional whirlwind of your own making - one that leaves you standing alone in a field of upheaval where your life used to be.

No, I’m not talking about going on a wild weekend or an uncontrolled spending spree. What I’m describing is much more serious: you’re bopping along living your life and things are looking pretty good. Your outlook may be brighter than it has been in a long time and you feel like your goals are finally within reach. Then you suddenly, inexplicably, become overwhelmed by the need to:
· Quit your job as a university professor to become a bartender in Australia (although you sunburn easily and don’t drink alcohol)
· Leave your long-term partner to date an intense, somewhat odd person at your office (whom you don’t even like that much)
· Cash in your retirement portfolio to join a condo scheme you saw on an infomercial at 3 AM on Sunday morning

An Emotional Tornado enters and convinces the sufferer to take a course of action that is illogical, irrational and inconsistent with the way that person has been living up to that point. In the pursuit of this new direction, individuals hurt those closest to them, disappoint those who depend on them, and dismantle the life they’ve spent blood, sweat and tears to build.

If you’re the person experiencing an Emotional Tornado, your brain will feel like it’s turned inside out. You’ll find yourself behaving in new ways, perhaps adopting values you disparaged before and found frivolous or selfish when you observed them in others.

And then, eventually, you’ll recover. You’ll “wake up” to find yourself far from where you want to be, wondering what came over you to make you do this to your life. You’ll deeply regret the decisions you’ve made. You won’t be able to figure out what possessed you to betray everyone’s trust to pursue something that you don’t really want.

Fortunately, Emotional Tornadoes can be stopped. It takes persistence, guts and determination, but it can be done. In order to do so, you have to follow certain steps:
1) Understand that you’re ultimately responsible for what you do in your life
2) Arm yourself with knowledge to fight off the force of the Tornado
3) Realize your role in the destruction
4) Build your Barriers to the Tornado before it hits again!
5) Stop the Tornado in its Tracks. Follow the simple steps. No excuses, no exceptions:
Consider how you felt in the past when you went into an Emotional Tornado. How did you behave? Who did you have around you, and who did you avoid? Share your personal Tornado information with a trusted Other (or Others). Catch yourself using the kind of terms I call “Tornado Bulls-t” that is just rationalizing doing the wrong thing. When the Emotional Tornado appears, don’t trust your ability to determine right and wrong. If your trusted Other tells you they’re seeing the warning signs, believe them. Transfer your trust in your own ability to judge what’s going on. Avoid those people, places, and situations the Tornado is trying to convince you to enter. Under no circumstances should you act on the Tornado’s whims. If you do, the damage is irreversible. This is the most important step. Remind yourself frequently that all of the knowledge in the world won’t protect you if you don’t act on it!

Once the Emotional Tornado has passed, do what you can to build up your emotional Trouble Spots. Build up your confidence in areas where you’re most fearful. Then the Emotional Tornado will have nowhere to strike (although it will probably still try).

Get the most help you can to protect yourself against the next onslaught. Don’t lie to yourself - the Tornado will always try to strike again. Keep building your protection even after you think you’re okay.