It seems to happen quicker every year. Yes, it’s almost Christmas again. And as much as we happily anticipate the festive season, it doesn't always work out as well as planned.
Dr Dina’s Tips for Family Gatherings:
1. Smile, nod and move away. This is a sort of a sanity-protecting Macarena. You know that sibling, aunt, uncle or cousin that always gets up your nose? The one who constantly boasts about how much better their life is than yours? Or who insists on giving you endless advice about childrearing, fashion, career or handling interest rate rises? Make sure you limit your time with them. Don’t be mean, just smile, nod and tip-toe sideways to help with the kitchen, the barbecue, or walking the family dog. With practice you’ll be so smooth they won’t even notice they’ve been snubbed.
2. Take it easy on the alcohol, especially if you have any of the relatives described above. We all know alcohol brings out whatever we've been holding back. That's fine if it's a warm,fuzzy appreciation of the world and all its inhabitants. Not so good when it makes you list, at the top of your voice, all of the things you really don't like about your brother-in-law. Spare yourself and your relatives by imbibing responsibly and choosing diplomacy over blunt honesty.
3. Try to put yourself in a good mood. It will help you relax if you don’t start off in a frazzle. Play your favourite holiday music while you're getting dressed. Take a leisurely bath or wear a much-loved item of clothing. Don’t cook or pack at the last minute (if you’re going to someone else’s place). Having the turkey burn on the bottom ten minutes before everyone is scheduled to ring the doorbell won’t fill you with Christmas cheer. Neither will being unable to find the kids’ shoes, swimming costumes or presents they made for Grandpa.
4. Remind yourself this is once a year, and try to enjoy the laughter and good parts of the day. One of the saddest things we can do is take things for granted or choose to ruin special occasions. Smile a lot. It will improve your mood. And find at least one thing to enjoy about everyone at the gathering, even if you don’t feel inclined to tell them.
Dr Dina’s Little Advice – These are some small tips to improve the holiday season
• Take the emphasis off gifts. Put it back into togetherness.
• Don’t be upset if you don’t like your gifts. Be thankful someone bothered to give you something (and re-gift it later).
• Be considerate of Christmas ‘orphans’. As someone who lives very far from family, I’m always incredibly grateful for friends who invite me to their place for the day. It makes all the difference.
• Try to enjoy the lovely decorations, songs and festivities. Being a grownup doesn’t mean we can’t immerse ourselves in the joy of the season.
Have a Merry Christmas – and write to me if things get too challenging!
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